I want...

a family of my own. I know I'm too young (or not) to think about this, but I can't avoid it, since I'm surrounded by everything (almost) that I want for my own future. I've been an aupair for 4 months now, almost 5. and living with a family that has young children makes me... imagine myself in a few years...
married, in love, happy, not pregnant right away of course (lol) but... just happy for living the life I'll hopefully get to live. I see Jake and Lola, and they are so cute, I seriously want to adopt them. haha. Right now I don't think about it so much, but I know it'll be really hard to say good-bye and to leave them :(
it will also be EXTREMELY hard to say good-bye to my beautiful nephews, Seba and Lucas... I don't wanna be far from them :(

I'll also miss Ava, although she wasn't so nice to me in the beginning... now she's already used to me I think, cuz she talks to me and hugs me and tells me things and asks me to help her and stuff... :)

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about how it feels to live here, and everything... they're all very nice to me, although, of course, not everything is perfect.
but they treat me well, my room is beautiful, so is my bathroom (it's the biggest one in the house!), I have a TV and DVD in my room, and I bought my laptop some months ago, so they gave me a desk for it... :) before I got my laptop I used one of their laptops, they never said anything about me staying there for too long or anything... although many times I did. hehe.

now I got mine in my room and it's really hard to stay away from it, I REALLY don't wanna spend too much time on it, because I also wanna do other things, such as read, write my plans n stuff, watch TV, sleep early... but it's so hard! oh well :/

Alice (the babies' great-grandmother, Ken's grandmother) just left... she's so nice! she comes here every Tuesday to help Sejal with her laundry, since Sejal almost doesn't have time to do it... and Alice is 86 years old!!! that's what I call a young-hearted person. hehe :)

her parents were from Portugal, but she was born in Massachussetts. so, she speaks a liittle Portuguese. honestly, I know more than her. haha. but that's because she was raised here and never went to school in Portugal or anything. anyway... every time she comes, she helps me feed the babies and talks to me A LOT. she tells me about her youth, her ex boyfriends, how she met her husband, etc, etc, etc... it's really interesting to hear stories that happened so long ago... I wish I could go back in time to see some of those moments =P

well, what do I love about this family?
1. their babies: they are the most adorable babies I've ever met! and even though I've been with them for only 4 months, I feel as if I've been with them forever! (well, they were 8 months when I came here... ) but I feel as if they're really MY own babies and as if I have to raise them and educate them and everything! of course I'm not their mother and I won't do any of that stuff, but I feel as if I will, because I'm with them all day long...
People say they think I'm their mom, and I think so too... honestly, they see me more than what they see her... but of course, when I go back home they'll forget me... :/

I imagine myself in some years, with MY OWN babies, and I picture myself doing the same things I do now with Lola and Jake. feeding them, bathing them, changing their diapers, playing with them and being silly, singing to them, putting them to sleep... all that stuff. I think that aupairs (especially the ones with little babies, idk about the ones with older kids) really learn a lot about being a mother. it's like... we ARE being mothers, but we're not supposed to, yet... it's like, we're doing something that we were meant to do only when we got kids of our own...
but of course, WE chose to do this, no one forced us... and I'm not saying I don't like doing this, I really do, but after awhile it can be tiring...
that's why I love weekends, but I hate spending money. lol.
and I also love the evenings, when I can be in my room with my computer. I love those moments, because they're the only moments that truly belong to me. the moments when I'm free to do whatever I want, and when I don't have to worry about the babies crying. if I hear them cry, well... it's their parents turn to take care of them... lol.
don't get me wrong, I love to take care of them, but as I said, after 10 hours of doing that... of course I love my freedom ;)

another thing I love about this family...
2. their house: it's really beautiful! although the grandparents' house is even more beautiful and luxurious... but this house's backyard is THE BEST. it is SO big and SO beautiful! there's a jacuzzi, a pool, and even little fish! :) and there's a lot of room to sit around and have a good time with your friends and family... tables, chairs, etc, etc, etc... it's my dream backyard. lol.

oh, and Ken Sr. (the babies grandfather) is the one who built the house, the backyard and the pool! isn't that amazing?!? he also built his house, and many houses on this road... oh, and the road! :P that's why the road has his name on it! that's SO freakin cool! :P

anyway, when I see all the houses around here, they're SO big and beautiful, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the ones living on them are rich... that's how it is here, even if you're not rich, you can live in a mansion. lol. btw, they wouldn't consider this house a mansion... but for me it is! (:

oh, and the house in Rhode Island where my brother works/lives... that's DEFINITELY a mansion! it's soooooo fancy and luxurious!!! and HUGE!!!
anyway... I'd love to have a house like this one someday... I know it's gonna be freakin expensive, though... but, can't I dream?? :P

I imagine myself and my husband in a house like this, in the future... it's so cool to imagine, cuz in my imagination, I own the place, I am the boss, and I decorate it as I want... lol.

well... a couple of days ago I got a Vacation Planning DVD from Disney World, and I've been watching it... it's soooo cool! I always knew Disney World was wonderful, but I guess I never really saw a lot of it... and on this DVD, I saw pretty much everything! all the parks, the resorts, the people having fun, and sharing their experiences... and, I'm so happy I'm here, and I'm so happy I'm so close to it and that it's not so difficult to go there, but... I get sad because I'll probably have to go alone, and on the video I see all those happy families, all of them together, all of them having a great time... and I wish I could go with my whole family :/
it even brought tears to my eyes, because it's such a magical place... and of course you'd wanna share that moment with the ones you love... and of course it'd be a lot more fun with them... but what can I do... I'm thankful I'm here and I'm glad I have the possibility of going there... even if it's gonna be by myself... well, hopefully I'll find another aupair to go with me... it's just so difficult to find someone with the same interests and vacation dates! :/

speaking about vacations... I'm still trying to figure out where to go... and I REALLY have to stop spending money, cuz I REALLY need to save! omg... but it's so hard... whenever I go somewhere, I see something I like, and wanna buy it! lol... :S

oh, I also wanted to mention that I'd love to go to Disney with my own kids and my husband someday... I'm sure it'd be magical... and I'd have more money and we'd be able to stay in one of the resorts and spend more time and money there... hehehe :)

Lola and Jake are sleeping now and I came here and felt like writing this. hopefully when I'm back home and read this, it'll bring back good memories... :)

ahh... Sejal and Alice really want me to stay for longer... they say the babies are really attached to me, and that I'm really good with them... :)
but they have to understand that I also have a life back home, and that I left many people and things I want to continue... I miss my family SO much, and my country... but I reeeally don't wanna think about that right now... time will tell me what to do...
I just wanna thank God for letting me come here and for letting me have this amazing experience :)

PS: I went to Yale University on Sunday, with 4 German aupairs. Vanessa, Melina, Nicole and Stefanie. They're very nice and spoke English (almost) the whole time so I'd understand too :) Yale was pretty cool! although our tour guide (a Yale student) didn't know where Spain is! I thought that Yale students were among the smartest people on earth! He was asking us if there was anyone from another country, and when 2 guys said they were from Spain, the guide said "well, I'm not really too good at geography, but that must be pretty far..." o_0 what the heck?? seriously... Spain is a well-known country! omg... :S
anyway, now I just need to visit Harvard and Princeton... hehe xD

thanks for reading, to whoever is reading!