I feel like a fool. I don't like it one bit.

I gotta get out of here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape.

I need to rest. I can't wait until I finally get to rest.

:D

Ah, God. I can't believe how happy I feel right now :D
Youth group was awesome today! Funny thing is, I was in charge of giving the message. I showed them a video, though. An AMAZING, EPIC video that impacted me so freakin' much the first time I watched it, and has the same effect over.and.over.again.

I showed them Kim Walker's testimony. You know, Kim Walker, from Jesus Culture. That amazing woman. I love her so much and I don't even know her. I love her laughter, I love the joy she transmits!

I was a little afraid of showing them that video, I must confess. She speaks of some visions of Jesus she had, and just epic and incredible things she experienced. I was afraid some people wouldn't like that. No one complained, though :) Ya know, I've never gotten to that level, I've never experienced Jesus the way she says she has, but that only makes me want more. I won't give up, I'll keep fighting for more and more of Jesus in my life. Some people might not believe her, but WHAT IF IT'S TRUE?! I don't wanna stay here, not knowing. I mean, I'm another human being, just like her. God is there, available for me. It's just up to me to make our relationship grow and get deeper. It's up to me!!! askjdkfhj

Well... I can't believe I feel this way right now. It could only be you, Jesus. I mean, I talked on the microphone, I prayed, but none of that makes me feel 'good'. I'm nothing, you're everything. I just shared what's in my heart. And that prayer, it was so honest. I mean, I completely forgot about the people listening, I just talked to you, God. I just desperately asked you for more of you in us. I just want you to make us love prayer and love Your Word. And that's what I said up there. I mean, 'accepting you' in our hearts is just the first step! We're not supposed to just do that and stay there forever! No freakin' way! You want so much more from us!

I'm just so overwhelmed. And the new couple at church. Oh man. There's a new couple at church, the guy used to go there before he got married, actually. But his girlfriend was from another church so he moved there, and now that they're married and have a baby, they decided to start coming here again. Oh God. About that, all I've got to say is THANK YOU GOD. They are SUCH a blessing! I can't believe how wonderful they are! They lead worship. They both sing :) and I can just stay that Jesús les sale por los poros. A.MA.ZING. I love them! lol. Today was the first time I had a proper conversation with them, after the service was over... and they're like my dream come true. I mean... I've always complained about how much I dislike when people get out of the temple and it's as if they completely forget what was said there, and they start talking about superficial things again. It's like "ok, the service is over, we don't need to be talking about God anymore, let's talk about life, let's talk about reality". Something like that! But well... I was sitting next to a friend, just talking... and then they came, said hi, said what a blessing the video had been to them... and then they kept talking about... you're right, GOD! Like, they kept mentioning him, they kept just talking about him, normally. On the inside I was like asdfjfkjgk!!! On the outside, I was like ---> :D I told them I was really happy they came to our church and that they're a huge blessing!!!
You know, the girl has a woooonderful voice. And she's nice and humble! That's the amazing thing! Most girls who sing well, usually think they're celebrities and are not humble at all. A girl I know is like that, anyway. She doesn't even say hello to people. So ridiculous to be singing to God and not even acknowledging your brothers and sisters in Christ just a few minutes later. I see no coherence at all!!!
Anyway, this girl is different!!! She is soooo nice and friendly and happy and smiley! And the guy, her husband, well, he's a little more serious but asdkjfdljf it's like Jesus is written all over their face! I love them. Have I said that yet? haha. 'cause I do. I hope they stay forever!!! And I hope the Jesus fever they have gets contagious! I mean, I know it will. I just can't wait to see it spread! :) As for me, I'm in the process. I'm in this beautiful process of just getting closer and closer to you, God. And it's wonderful. I'm so happy. I love you! I can't believe how much you love me! I'm still so happy, this is your joy! Thank you so much. I wanna see you written in all our faces, I wanna see the youth completely devoted to you, God. And here I am, to help in any way I can. I just wanna shine for you! :)

I'm not as strong as you think.

Listening to "Forget and not slow down" album by Relient K... that tells me something.

PRAY BIG

Hace unos meses me crucé con este pastor en youtube, y me cayó muy bien. Vi unos videos donde hablaba sobre como orar para situaciones específicas, y también hablaba de que tenía un libro llamado Pray Big. En realidad, en sus videos habla sobre muchos de los temas que toca en el libro, por eso me dieron más ganas de leerlo. Apenas pueda, lo voy a comprar :3

Después encontré esto, que es una entrevista que le hicieron en un programa de TV. Recién terminé de verla, y lo único que puedo decir es que me encanta. Tiene toda mi admiración, y aunque él dice que no es nada especial (lo cual sólo hace que sea más especial) es ejemplar y se nota que vive lo que predica, lo cual es realmente digno de admiración. y algunos pensarán, bueno, es pastor, es su obligación ser así, o toda su vida fue así, o a su alrededor hay gente como él, o blabla, pero... yo CREO que yo, o cualquier persona que realmente lo quiera, puede llegar a ser así. Cualquiera puede llegar a ese nivel de cercanía con Dios, porque Dios siempre está ahí disponible para nosotros. Somos nosotros los que nos alejamos. En fin, disfruten de la entrevista! (no tiene subtitulos, sorry)

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

las cosas que importan

1. qué.haría.yo.sin.personas.que.me.digan.las.cosas.en.la.cara.

estoy inmensamente agradecida por esas personas que me quieren y quieren lo mejor para mí, y tienen sabiduría de Dios y no tienen miedo de que me ofenda o enoje.
aunque duela, es lo que necesito.
Los verdaderos amigos te apuñalan en la cara.

2. amo mucho a mi sobrinita y a mis sobrinitos. like, muuuuucho. y me dan unas gaaaanas de tener los míos propios ya. me da un no sé qué pensar en cuando tenga mis hijitos y lo amados que van a ser ❤
tipo, voy a rebosar de amor. can't wait.

aaand that's why I'd rather be by myself.
movies and books, you'll always be my best friends.