Us against the world

why does the world hate you so much, God?

actually, you don't need to answer this. I know why. it's the way it's supposed to be.

but... it makes me so sad!!! and angry!!!

it breaks my heart, really.

even worse is seeing people who used to call you their Lord, now saying you don't make sense.

I just pray you never let me go.

and I pray for those people, I pray they find you one day.

we are so stupid!!!

we run away from you, even if we need you more than anything.

I'm tired. and sometimes I just wish I could go home with you already.

but I know I'm here for a purpose, I know you want to do things through me.

and I'm here. available for you to use me however you want , God.

I love you so much. just the thought of you brings me to tears. just thinking of your tremendous sacrifice. you did EVERYTHING for me, and I don't need to do ANYTHING. just ACCEPT your gift. and I accept it, Jesus. I thank you so much. because no matter what they say, I know you're here, with me. In me.

I love you and I honestly don't want anything else, I just want you. If you wanna give me something else, let it be an extra. My contentment is in you, not in anything or anyone I might lose. AMEN.

doubts, uncertainty, and You

why God?
why me?
why is it so hard?

I guess I shouldn't have sung "Hello hurricane, you're not enough, hello hurricane, you can't silence my love, I've got doors and windows boarded up, all your dead end fury is not enough, you can't silence my love "... 'cause the hurricanes just keep coming!

I love you SO much, and I just want more of you in my life.
Thank you for putting this desire of getting close to you in my heart.
It's more alive than ever now.

I don't know why
I really don't
but I trust you
that there's a reason
an important reason
there's a reason why life isn't easy
and why I don't have it all figured out
You want to teach me something
You want me to be stronger
You want me to overcome

But without you I can't
I simply can't.
It comforts me to know you're there
you are my strength, you are my hope
I have your love, and that's all I need.

Please God, just help me feel that way
show me what to do, give me peace

take away all this worry
all this doubt
all this uncertainty
from my heart
because I know you love me
I know your will is to give me
abundant life
I know you want me to be happy
and enjoy life
loving you, and being loved by you

thank you God.
(I feel better after writing this. thank you.)

MI BLOG DE LECTURA

Hola a todos mis lectores! jaja bueno, hola a todos los que se cruzaron con mi blog y por alguna razón u otra, están leyendo esto. Les quiero invitar a que visiten mi otro blog, mi blog de lectura! En él hablo de libros que he leído, es muy interesante. El objetivo principal de ese blog es promover la lectura entre personas que generalmente no lo hacen, ya que leer tiene muchos beneficios, como la buena ortografía! ;)

Bueno, este es el link:

http://amantedelalectura.wordpress.com/

Espero que lo visiten y comenten si hay algo que quieran decir!

Muchas gracias, que estén bien! :)

tengo ganas de no ser mala pero a veces es difícil. la gente se mete en mis nervios.

hacen cosas que me molestan. aparte tengo tantas cosas dentro mío que quiero compartir pero no tengo con quien. eso también influye. no pega más así. #esonomásqueríadecir

I wanna thrive, not just survive

es una de esas noches en las que pensar mucho me da ganas de llorar... bueno, lloraría en cualquier momento si pensara lo suficiente pero casi nunca tengo tiempo.

no sé que me pasa. la vida no es lo que solía ser. no tengo ganas de hacer nada. ni de estudiar, ni de hacer mis tareas, ni de salir de mi cama (?)

cumplo con mis responsabilidades porque tengo qué, pero sin muchas ganas. yo sé que esto debe ser depresión, aunque lo escondo muy bien porque naturalmente soy muy risueña y alegre. y no es que finja, es que de verdad al estar con otras personas, si me hacen reír, me río. pero cuando estoy sola, o cuando pienso mucho... no, I'm not alright... I know that I'm not right.

y no sé que puedo hacer para sentirme mejor. no sé :/ soy cristiana, pero no me siento muy bien últimamente. como que no 'siento' nada. me siento mal conmigo misma, eso sí. como que me siento culpable por no sentir algo más. pero no sé cual es la solución :/

estoy cansada de estudiar algo tan sin sentido. algo que no va a hacer ninguna diferencia en la vida de nadie. es una ciencia muy interesante pero... no causa el tipo de impacto que yo quisiera causar en las personas alguna vez. tengo cero motivación para estudiar algo que no me parece muy trascendental para la humanidad. pero estoy en el baile, y tengo que bailar. sólo un año más.

la amistad para mí es algo muy relativo. las amistades en mi caso, son siempre temporales. cada época de mi vida, la vivo con diferentes personas que son especiales para mí en su momento pero después, dejan de serlo. no que ya no les quiera, ni que no les siga considerando amigos, pero ya no son mis 'amigos' en tiempo presente. no están en mi día a día, no saben las cosas con las que me enfrento.

no puedo evitar sentirme sola. apática, indiferente. así me siento casi siempre. nada me hace reaccionar. ya no quiero seguir así :/

Dios, quiero que seas mi todo. quiero que me devuelvas la felicidad que el otro intenta robarme. quiero enamorarme de vos. quisiera anhelar estar contigo en todo momento. por favor, concedéme ese deseo. hacé que yo quiera. por favor. sos mi única esperanza :(

1. How old will you be in 3 birthdays?

25... jeez.

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?

maaaaybe, but probably not.

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?

seeing my niece grow up.

4. Who was the last person you called?

don't remember. last person who called me, my mom.

5. Have you ever played a team sport?

yeah... unfortunately.

6. Who is the last person to text you?

my brother.

8. What were you doing at midnight last night?

sleeping.

9. What happened at 11:00 a.m. today?

i was either helping my sister-in-law with my newborn niece or watching The O.C.

10. How many states have you visited?

Nine. 10 if you count Texas, but that was just the airport :P <-- what she said.

11. If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?

I dunno. traveling with my mom. or with that special 'someone' who doesn't exist.

12. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?

right now socks cuz it's chilly.

13. When was the last time you cried?

Saturday I think.

14. What was the last thing you drank?

Pulp Pomelo.

15. Favorite ice cream?

cookies 'n cream! || other than that, vanilla...

18. What jelly do you put on your PBJ?

I hate peanut butter.

19. Do you like coffee?

Love it.

20. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average?

actually I drink water bottles. and... probably anywhere from 7-10. || yeah, lots.

21. What do you drink in the morning?

latte.

22. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

on the right side right now.

23. Do you know how to play poker?

nope.

24. Whats so good about Fridays?

that I don't have to work the next day. || ughh now i beg to differ, nothing's so good about Fridays cuz I HAVE to work the next day!

25. Any plans for this week?

yeah... go take an exam, dye my hair, that stuff.

26. Do you eat out or at home more often?

lately, at home.

27. Ever stolen a street sign?

Nope.

28. Do you keep a piggy bank?

no... I just save my money in my wallet xD

29. What kind of camera do you have?

Canon PowerShot SX120IS.

30. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?

both. oceans are more beautiful, but pools are nicer cuz there's no sand :P

31. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?

window, because I love to look down. lol. but I hate it when I need to go pee and the person next to me is sleeping :S

32. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

not yet! but I will learn pretty soon! || not yet >_<

33. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?

nothing. I like SAVING it.

34. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?

earrings and two bracelets.

35. Do you speak any other language?

Spanish 100%, Portuguese... 90%? Guaraní 70%, Italian 30% LOL

36. Can you roll your tongue?

not really :/

37.Who is the funniest person you know?

right now... jeez... nobody. probably myself, i'm pretty funny when i want to. lol.

38. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nope.

39. What is the main ring tone on your phone?

heart in a cage - the strokes and wonderin' - tobymac feat. matt thiessen

40. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?

yes, my mom kept pretty much everything :)

41. What is the colour of your bedroom walls?

Beige.

42. What are you doing tomorrow night?

taking a Research Methodology exam.

43. Are you nervous?

why would I?